Sunday, December 4, 2011

Boys will be Boys, or Just Castrate Me Now, Lord

Another Presidential Candidate brought low by his alleged sexual resume.  What to do?  

Perhaps we should ritually castrate anyone who aspires to higher office. If we rate Presidents now on the strength of their family life, I guess Reagan is out because he was married twice. As for persons like Clinton, what do you make of people who really SHOULD have been divorced and weren't. (Talk about serial adultery).   Franklin Roosevelt was confined to a wheelchair so I am sure his love life was beyond reproach. (I mean, what could he do besides collect stamps?),   Harding fathered a child outside of his marriage. Eisenhower sought relief in the form of his secretary Kay Summersby. The Kennedys, all of them got around the neighborhood with regularity. Nixon on the other hand, so far as I have read, was faithful to his Pat. Carter, on the other hand,  admitted he had sexual thought crimes in an interview with Playboy, when he was running for president. (So glad we got that cleared up before electing him).  .

The sex organs, their existence and use by individuals, should not be held against anyone. (Indeed, you hold them against anyone and you're guilty of some kind of sex crime).   " Sorry officer, I was driving under the influence of testosterone." Unless you are a saint or something you've probably done something or maybe committed thought crimes of some sort that might cause you shame and exemption from polite society.

Unless you are male and master of the universe of course you probably can't know what being away from home, liquored up, and in the presence of some young sweet things does to the mind and better judgment. God help any man with an intact set of organs. God gave us our junk to see to it that the species did not die out. Forgive us. In the future only men from the Vienna Boys choir need apply.